A Wish to Grab Happiness

Volume 7, Chapter 136: Domination

…If a person is suspicions of something that she always believed in, then what should this person do?

Ariene’s golden eyes sparkled upon hearing the words that leaked from Vestaline’s pale lips. She seemed to seek advice. Vestaline truly wanted an answer to her question.

“Ahh, but I don’t have that qualification right now. The reason why my head hurts is no different from Vestaline’s anguish. If there is an answer to both of our problems, then I would like to hear it soon.”

Ariene’s pain pierced her chest, then her forehead and limbs. It felt as if a knife cut her flesh open. The trapped dark emotion in the depths of her heart pushed the “door” open again and rampaged to the surface.

Vestaline’s eyes stared suspiciously at Ariene, who spoke no words at all. Ariene stroked her chest, hoping that this room remained dark. If the lights were on, Vestaline would have seen Ariene’s blueish expression.

However, the next moment, Ariene’s facial expression distorted. Fundamentally, she did not find any solution to this problem. “What revelation should I give to this troubled woman? I just don’t know what to think or say.”

“What does she mean? Actually, how could I listen to other people’s worries when I could not handle my own worries? The Saint candidate was just a name. My title makes me sad. I am almost shedding tears.”

Ariene’s heart was no longer in a normal state. She felt her agitated heart because of the repeated thoughts. Her darkish emotions consumed her soul from within. With this mental upheaval, even the troubles around her made her feel sick.

Still. Even if it were mere titles, being the Saint and the Songstress gave Ariene some support.

“Yes, it was my role now to help Vestaline. If so, then I must give her salvation. People gave me two names, even though I was just a candidate. Was not this salvation what God Altius instructed me to do? I shall ask for salvation in order to give it to others.”

“After all, it is the role of the Saint to give salvation to those who seek redemption. However, I am not allowed to give myself this so-called salvation.” Now that she was a candidate to be the Saint of the Great Holy Church, Ariene was not allowed to reach out for help.

“…Ah, that’s right. It is my role as the future Saint to seek and give salvation to others.”

The moment she thought so, the pain in her head disappeared. Naturally, Ariene’s little lips began to smile.

「…Rest assured, Vestaline. I understand your worries. It’s painful to have doubts about someone you care about. We don’t want to doubt such people, but once we have doubts, we cannot stop thinking about it.」

Ariene spoke to Vestaline like a true Saint. The only sure thing Ariene had now was her saint-like face. Ariene convinced herself somewhere in her heart, although it felt strange that such words naturally leaked from her mouth.

“In my heart, I coexisted with myself who understood everything and at the same time with my other self who did not understand anything. Was it reason or instinct? Or was it something completely different?” Apparently, there was something, which Ariene could not understand.

“However, there is one thing I know. No doubt about it, I finally found the answer.”

「You must pursue what you desire. Being suspicious is not mistrust. In fact, everyone has seeds of doubt in their own hearts. However…」

“Yes, people are weak. At any given time, everyone will have doubts in their hearts. Perhaps, even the Saints of the past had doubts about certain people too”, Ariene thought.

“However, I believe that people are not that weak enough to stop from having doubts.”

「…I think it is most important to take action to clear it up. Yes, you should not worry about the repercussions that comes with it. Because, you don’t want to keep crying like a tragic performer, do you?」

Ariene noticed that Vestaline’s lips tightened for a moment. Ariene was sure that her emotions were shaking deep inside of her heart. Ariene did not know how she would take her words. But, one thing was sure Vestaline’s heart was dying to make a choice.

However, if one looked at Vestaline’s eyes, one would understand. Ariene felt that Vestaline had begun to comprehend what she was saying. Behind her eyes, something that resembled heat began to sprout again.

“Great. It seems that I was able to imitate a Saint. I was able to take the hand of a depressed human being who sought salvation.”

「…Thank you very much. Lady Ariene. I feel like your words saved me. Yes, this isn’t like me. A tragic performer in a dark room.」

Ariene smiled when Vestaline thanked her.

Upon hearing Ariene’s words, Vestaline blinked her eyelashes in a suspicious manner. Ariene wondered if Vestaline did really understand the meaning of the words she received.

Nevertheless, the words of gratitude were by no means a way to repair the situation. Vestaline thanked Ariene from the bottom of her heart. She said that she was able to recover herself thanks to Ariene’s advice.

Yes, it was because of Vestaline’s worries that Ariene was able to pave her way.

“Even though I tried to behave like a Saint, I am still worried. About the betrayal of my childhood friend Lugis. How foolish can I be.”

“Despite saying that he would eventually pick me up at the Cathedral, he chose the Heraldic religion instead. Now he is my enemy and is taking the hand of another woman.”

“Deplorable. I cannot accept it. Just thinking about that fact hurts my chest to the point of being cut open.” Ariene could feel the dark emotions crawling up from the back of her viscera. The corners of her eyes naturally felt the scorching heat.

“But I already understand the reason for his betrayal. My heart is full of peace now. It was my entire fault. Why did Lugis betray me? I was running away from this question.”

“I was trying to convince myself that he did everything for freedom. I tried to dissipate the suspicion and uneasiness I felt in my chest. Yet, it was not worth it. Running away did not solve anything. The reason why Lugis let go of my hand was…”

“…In other words, I did not give salvation to Lugis.”

“I could not be a salvation for Lugis, even though Lugis was my salvation during my days in the Cathedral. Surely, he must have immense tears in his chest. He probably went through intolerable hardships. Yet, I could not be by his side in order to save him from them.”

“That is the reason why Lugis is with the Heraldic Order now. That place has become his supporting pillar.”

“I feel sorry. I doubted him for moments. It feels embarrassing to ask myself why he did such a thing. In other words, was it not all derived from my unfaithfulness?”

Then, the rest was easy for Ariene. She decided the measures she had to take. It was easy now.

“…I just need to remove all the unnecessary surroundings from Lugis and be his only salvation.”

Lugis was nothing but a human being. Ariene could tell so because she had been watching him since he was a child. He had some weak and fragile parts. Ariene was sure that he would want to rely on something. Ariene knew there would be a time when he would want to reach out to something. Naturally.

“At that time, he may accidentally ask for help from other people other than me.”

Ariene felt that Lugis fell in a big misfortune. Those people were letting him make the wrong choices. In fact, even now, the wrong choice was the Heraldic religion, since Lugis was being defamed as a great sinner.

Ariene’s chest boiled with heat. The muddy and sticky dark emotions that lurked in her heart still crawled from the back of her viscera. However, there was only one brilliant conviction amidst the hatred and darkness that consumed her heart.

“Lugis, I will make sure to take everything away from you. The Heraldic religion, the Guilds, your status, everything. Then, when I am the only one around you, I will happily take your hand as an oath. I will give you salvation when you seek salvation to the fullest. Yes, I have decided.”

“So wait for me, Lugis. I am truly sorry that my unfaithfulness has given you a predicament. But in the end, I will be the one to save you from that predicament.”

In the dark room, Ariene’s expression could not be seen by anyone, by neither Vestaline nor the servants. However, Ariene’s expression had a beautiful and lustrous smile that she had never shown to anyone before.