Taming the Queen of Beasts

"But, El, that\'s their job!"

"What?"

"Two minds are always better than one. The elders, your Cohorts, they\'ll see things you don\'t see, they\'ll think of details you didn\'t. Sometimes they\'ll be right, other times they\'ll be wrong. But you can guarantee, if one of them thought of it, there are those among your people who will too—and they may not feel free to tell you. Yet they\'ll speak of it to others and raise questions. You end up fighting a war you didn\'t even know was raging—in the hearts of your own people."

"But… challenges… they undermine your rule if you allow them."

"No, El, think it through. I told you, there are two kinds of challenges, and this is about discerning the difference.

"If a male comes to you and tries to dominate you because he wants to take the seat of power, you take him down hard, and fast. No mercy, whatsoever. You don\'t listen to a word he says, and you don\'t give an inch. But the Elders? If they ask difficult questions, it\'s because they know those questions will be asked by the people. They\'re helping you prepare to answer them publicly—or find a way to answer them collectively so you don\'t have anyone challenge you.

"If your Cohorts see you doing or saying something they think could harm you or the people, they aren\'t helping you unless the question it—make sure that you understand what you\'re doing and saying, how it sounds to others. Make sure you mean what you say. And make sure you aren\'t just plain wrong.

"If you stop people from challenging you, from asking hard questions, or arguing with you when they think you\'re wrong, all you\'re doing is setting yourself up for disaster. You won\'t have advisors, then, you\'ll have yes-men. And those people not only live in fear of you, which brings their loyalty into question, but they won\'t respect you. They won\'t advocate for you. You will open your rule up to actual challengers for the throne.

"No single person can do all of this, and no one can do it all correctly. Especially not the first time. You have to let people question you. You have to open yourself up for criticism—and show them that you are strong enough both to take it, and to change where change is needed, or stand your ground where it is not!"

"But… how do you know the difference?"

Her father smiled. "You learn with time. Sometimes you do it wrong, and then you know not to do it that way again—like what you\'re feeling right now. Other times, someone saves you from something and you realize how important it was that they brought those questions to you. So, it gets easier to start welcoming them later. But it all takes time. Trial and error. Wisdom in the making. You can\'t expect to rule in the first month the way you will ten years later, Elreth. It\'s just not possible. You are wise and strong for your years, but you will be wiser and strong a year from now. And even more so five years after that.

"You are starting from a better place than I did. I was cocky. You are not. What you need to do is stop seeing questions or doubts as something that mean you\'re weak. We all have questions and doubts, El. Strength isn\'t the absence of those, it\'s having the courage to meet them when they come. And having the persistence to fight for as long as is needed to solve the problems."

Elreth sucked in a breath and sat back in her chair.

"What happened at the meeting today, El?" he asked quietly. "Why do you look so shaken?"

She sagged in her seat, half-ashamed, half just weary. "I lost my temper," she said. "I\'d already been twitchy, but when one of them said that about Aaryn I just… I just came down on them. And they submitted. But… I told them I didn\'t want to hear any more of those questions or doubts from them. That I just wantd answers. I said I\'d go back tomorrow and hear what they bring. But… I didn\'t do what you\'re saying, Dad. I didn\'t let them bring me stuff that\'s a problem. Not after a while. How do you do that without feeling like you\'re falling apart? If I just let them hammer Aaryn, or me, it\'s just…"

"It\'s nothing but pride, El," he said softly. "And believe me, I\'ve got it too. I\'ve set people down who were bringing me good advice, many times. But I\'ve learned that it\'s a mistake. So when I do it now, I try to go back and apologize, and open myself up to whatever they were saying. I have to tell you, El, I think you\'ll regret sticking with this line with the elders. You have to let them bring you the things that others will think of. It\'s preparing you to answer those question from the people. It\'s equipping you.

"And if you don\'t let them, they\'ll just voice those things in whispers to each other and resentment will build, until it will all come out in a true expression of anger or revolution… you don\'t want that. You know you don\'t.

"True strength isn\'t being the person who can shout down everyone else. True strength is begin able to hear criticism, hear challenges, meet them, and move on. I\'m not saying it isn\'t scary and uncomfortable. I\'m just saying… you have what it takes. If you\'ll let them challenge you, they\'ll keep you on the right path and you\'ll come to welcome it. I promise—and when they\'re the ones who are wrong, they will listen, because you\'ll have led them to it. If you, as Ruler, are willing to be challenged and to shift your position to meet wisdom, when it\'s their turn, they\'ll be far more likely to do the same."

Elreth sat back, frowning at the table. She knew he was right. She could see it now—and see how she\'d been reacting out of herself and her pride, instead of what was right. Gah! She hated that feeling of… being humbled. "I have to go apologize to them," she muttered a moment later.

Reth nodded. "And you\'ll see how forgiving and helpful they are when you do."

"But won\'t they see that as weak?" she said, genuinely concerned. "Won\'t they think  that means they need to do more challenging—and maybe not trust me?"

"No, El, that\'s the weird part about this. When you admit your mistakes and work to correct them you are leading by example. People might not like the mistake you made, but they can\'t fault you for recognizing it and making it better. Don\'t underestimate the power of that."

She nodded and groaned. "See, I just keep going in the wrong directions. Every time. This is so frustrating."

"No, you don\'t, sweet girl," her father said and pushed his chair back, groaning a little as he got up and walked to her, opening his arms so she\'d stand and let him hug her.

She knew she was being a child, burying her face his in massive chest and gripping his waist, but she also knew he wouldn\'t tell anyone.

"I love you, Dad," she murmured, swallowing back tears. "I\'m sorry I\'m screwing this up."

"You aren\'t, El. At least, no more than I did at the same time in my rule. Screwing it up would be refusing to see your mistakes, and refusing to change your approach. You aren\'t doing that. As long as you\'re correctable, you\'ll be successful."

Elreth sighed again. "I hope so."

"I know so, sweetheart."

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