Chapter 612 What F**Kery Is This?
LERRIN
Lerrin sat at the breakfast table in the market, barely able to eat he was so overwhelmed.
He\'d thought he\'d never see this place again. He thought he\'d never see the WildWood and smell its scents again. Thought he\'d never lean on a Great Tree again. He\'d been convinced…
And then he\'d had to send Suhle and their daughter and—a growl wanted to rise in his throat and he swallowed it back.
He was no longer accustomed to so many bodies, so many voices, so much noise. It was putting his already frayed nerves on edge.
At his side, Suhle spoke quietly with a wolf across the table, but she was leaning into him, one hand wrapped around his arm. She\'d always kept herself close to him, but since she returned to him from warning the Tree City, she hadn\'t left his side. She\'d almost been killed when her birds flew into outright battle between Lerrin and the Outsiders, and the rear-guard of humans who, he later learned, had shot down Reth and Elia, and the Protectors that had gone with them. But their arrival, though it had threatened Lerrin\'s sanity, had split the human\'s attention for long enough to allow the Outsiders to slide a few Protectors to their backs.
Then the earthquake, and the voices… Lerrin still shuddered when he thought about it.
They\'d killed every human the voices hadn\'t, a decision he still wanted to regret but didn\'t. He admired Gar\'s willingness for second chances—and wasn\'t surprised that Reth\'s son would choose mercy. But Lerrin… He\'d almost lost everything. His most precious things. He had been in no mood to take further risks.
Since they\'d been reunited, Suhle had been reluctant to lose physical contact. And then when they arrived in the Tree City… She hadn\'t spoken about it, but Lerrin saw the fear in her gentle eyes and it broke his heart.
He hadn\'t thought about the effects of bringing her back here. After twenty years, he\'d been focused on the humans and the need to keep Anima safe. Not about the memories being here would raise for Suhle—the instincts that would rear their heads. But she hadn\'t protested. She only kept herself close to him, always touching. And he wasn\'t complaining about that.
He found his own instincts on a hair trigger after all that had happened.
And his grief…
There had always been tension between him and Reth. Yet he found the news of the Lion\'s death sucked the air from his lungs and left him… heavy.
Suhle had wept when they received the news and pleaded with him to look for Behryn the moment they arrived in the Tree City.
Lerrin didn\'t know if the Equine was even still alive and he was reluctant to be forced to tell his mate more bad news. The day before when they\'d arrived had been eventful enough that it had been easy to find reasons not to pursue the male. But today…
Today they would be forced to face it, he thought.
Today was the first day of a new life. Today was the day Suhle would be accepted into the Protector tribe, and Lerrin couldn\'t decide if he was ecstatic for her, or wanted to bite something.
In his eyes, she was wolf, and had always been. And when they left it would make no difference, because the Outsiders were one tribe—all species together. But the Anima were changing, and the Outsiders were being embraced again. He\'d asked the Creator that it might happen, and now it was. He had to… adjust.
He pulled his arm tight against his side, pinning his mate\'s hand to his ribs, and smiled down at her.
Suhle glanced up at him and returned the smile, though he could see the tension in the corners of it.
Are you well? he sent.
Yes. But I\'m worried about Lyndra, she sent in return. She doesn\'t want to be here.
She finds it overwhelming, Lerrin replied, looking at their oldest—dark smudges under her eyes. She sat at the table, picking at a piece of bread, but her eyes hunted and darted around it and around the market.
She finds herself different. She doesn\'t want to be accepted here, even though she would be, Suhle sent back, her voice heavy with worry.
Lerrin nodded. He was about to lean forward over the table, to reach for his oldest daughter\'s hand and ask if she wanted to leave, when another form, a male, appeared at Lyndra\'s shoulder.
Lerrin looked up to find Reece, the male who\'d grown up in the human world, the son of the Protector, Gahrye, and his human mate—though this offspring was all Anima.
The male was tall and strong and pleasing to the eye, he realized with a shock when Lyndra smiled for the first time that Lerrin had seen since they\'d arrived in the WildWood.
Then the male put a hand on Lyndra\'s shoulder and leaned in to murmur in her ear, and Lyndra… his daughter\'s cheeks warmed!
When had this fuckery begun?
His chest went hot and a growl started in his throat—but Suhle\'s hand landed on his thigh and he cut off.
Let her smile if she can, Suhle sent, amusement lacing her tone.
He\'s barely known by everyone here! What if he\'s a traitor, or—
He offered himself to save Gar during their confrontation with the humans, Suhle replied carefully. I don\'t think you need to be concerned he\'s a male without honor. And Lerrin, look. Have you ever seen her smile like that before?
Lerrin snapped his eyes back to his daughter who had composed herself, but invited the male to sit with her. The two stared at each other solemnly, their conversation barely more than a whisper. And his daughter… his serious, thoughtful, quiet daughter… her mouth turned up at the corners every time the male spoke.
Reece must have sensed his scrutiny because as he spoke, he turned his head and nodded. Lerrin tensed, his lip curling up to bare his—
"We have to get to our meeting with Elreth," Suhle said to the young ones across the table, suddenly pushing to her feet and tugging Lerrin to follow her.
What? They had no such thing! "Suhle, what—?" He kept his ass firmly in his seat.
"I promised the Queen that we would tell her all the details of your conflict with the humans, Lerrin," she said with a pointed look, still gripping his arm.
"Now?"
"Yes, now."
They stared at each other a moment. Lerrin wanted to be stubborn and insist on staying. But he knew she was right that if their daughter was enjoying this male, they should allow it. He\'d just always imagined Lyndra would remain a lone wolf—or perhaps mate one of the Outsiders when she was older. She was only twenty!
Then Suhle leaned down and whispered in his ear, "I wish I\'d found you so easily." Then her tongue darted out to tickle the shell of his ear.
Lerrin growled, but got to his feet and let her lead him away from the market and out to the trails, toward the cave they\'d found outside the Tree City because he\'d been out of the Tree City for too many years to be comfortable enclosing himself in a house again.
As they walked, he kept looking back over his shoulder, but Suhle soothed him again and again.
"Let it be, Lerrin," she said with a soft smile. "Let them find their way if they will."
"But what if he—"
She stopped on the trail, putting herself in front of him, but putting her hands to his face and pulling him down into a soft, lingering kiss.
When they pulled apart his heart was beating faster and he gripped her hands. "What was that for?"
"Because I want you to remember that when the Creator makes two hearts for one another, they can\'t deny that call—no matter how stubborn, or mixed up they are," she said with a wicked grin.
Lerrin growled good-naturedly, but she kissed him again to quiet it, then turned to walk ahead, pulling him with her.
And just because I want you, she said in his head.
Lerrin hurried to follow her, snaking his arms around her sides and leaning into her neck. She chuckled and grabbed his hands, but he felt her tense too.
As they reached the cave mouth, he stopped her and turned her, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "Suhle, I\'m sorry, I didn\'t think about how hard it would be for you to come back here."
She shook her head. "Neither did I," she said, looking down at their hands clasped between them. "But… I think it\'s good, Lerrin. And if it means Lyndra has found her mate… it\'s worth it."
Lerrin snorted. "I think you\'re getting a little ahead of yourself," he said quickly.
But Suhle just raised a brow. "She looks at him the way my heart felt when we met, Lerrin. I think you better get used to the idea, and perhaps reach out to the male. Get to know him. It\'s been a difficult time and he has lost his parents. They\'ll need our help."
Before he could respond—to tell her not to be in such a hurry—she smiled and pulled him into another kiss.
She kept him distracted for most of the morning until Lerrin had almost forgotten what he was worried about.
It wasn\'t until they dozed in the furs later, that he rolled over, stroking his hand up his mate\'s soft side, that he remembered his daughter and the way she\'d smiled.
Then he looked at Suhle and caught her grinning at him. And he had to pray that their daughter would find the same love he shared with her mother.
There was nothing more precious in the world.